I feel that before continuing the journey of creating a collection I need to share with you also my dragonfly story.
Me and NYMF have been one. If anything happens with NYMF, it will affect me and also every single experience of mine affects NYMF. Some of you probably already know that I tried to separate myself from NYMF for some time. But very few actually know that I also experienced the complete let-go, the death of NYMF at that period. It was one of the deepest points in my journey but actually, it liberated me a lot. For more than 12 years I had thought that NYMF was something that I just had to do, by being kind of my identity. But after going through this point I felt that I’m not obligated to do anything anymore, from now I have completely free choice to choose anything in my life.
Coming back to Estonia and to my studio, there was still the NYMF’s “bear-lady” on the wall. Still eyes closed, still deep-diving in her innerworlds… although I had felt already for some time that I really want to open her eyes…. that actually she already has the eyes open but on that visual still closed…
Until one day I just decided that now it’s time… that the “bear-lady” has to go. Finally. I ritually pulled her down from my studio wall, from NYMF’s website, everywhere I remembered… And oh, there were lots of her, because NYMF has been telling all its stories through her for a long time. Probably it takes some time for her to disappear completely. And actually, should she at all?
But after this decision and change, I felt such a relief, purification, and expansion. So much free space appeared.
And then I started to dig into my webpage because the world there looked completely different without the bear-lady. I changed some visuals, layouts, fonts…. but somehow felt that something was still missing, that the soul and story didn’t come through yet. I felt that I need to bring in some elements of nature. Because NYMF has been always deeply connected with nature.
So I decided to try to integrate some spirit animals. First tried the wolf… it didn’t work… then the tiger… no…. eagle… again no…. hmmm… And then suddenly the dragonfly came. And it was perfect. The dragonlfy??? How? I wanted to have the powerful animal and instead of that comes the airy, light and almost transparent character… But I still trusted and let it be there.
I remember it was in the middle of the night when I finished my webpage. And thought that ok, before going to sleep, I will google about the dragonfly. But before finding the symbolism and message as the spirit animal the fact-section popped out for me:
“Most of a dragonfly's life cycle is spent as a nymph, being underwater, invisible. Then it goes through a metamorphose and transforms into a beautiful dragonfly.”
I was shocked. My whole world got upside down. Tears were falling. I had never looked the nymph as a dragonfly nymph…. it has always been the mystical Ancient Creek nymph for me. But somehow, experiencing my own life as a big transformation lately… everything somehow was making sense and I got a totally new perspective and symbolism to my life.
I felt that I need to share this story because the dragonfly appeared into my life just some hours before I said “yes” to the Tallinn Fashion Week the next morning. For me from a totally fresh level of being. NYMF as a Dragonfly.
But what does this dragonfly symbolizes for me and what does it carry?
Yes, it has lots of meanings, most of them are super positive. But for me, the dragonfly is the guide or messenger between two worlds - visible and invisible. Reality and illusion. But which one is which actually?
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